It occurs across different cultures and in different kinds of relationships. In most cases, perpetrators are men who believe they have the right to power and control over women. Their attitudes are reinforced by cultural beliefs about “proper” roles for men and women and by various systems (e.g. legal, political, churches, the media) which accord men more power.  Although women who experience men’s violence come from all walks of life, other forms of social inequality like racism, poverty and class bias can make it more difficult for some women to access support from the police, courts and other systems.

Perpetrators of violence of make deliberate decisions about how they will behave on the basis of what they think will work best to assert their power, get their own way or punish non-compliance. They will often cover up their abusive behaviour and appear to be charming to the outside world.  The tactics they use to gain power and control are many and varied.

Is Domestic Violence a problem for you? Does your partner or a family member?

• Verbally abuse you or put you down?

• Physically hurt you or your children or threaten to do so?

• Damage property or pets to frighten you?

• Force you to have sex against your will?

• Threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave?

• Blame you for their anger and actions?

• Need to know where you are every minute?

• Control where you go and who you see?

• Control the money and make you account for every cent?

• Have access to your social media and/or monitor your phone and emails?

• Follow you around?

• Say they love you, but hurt and control you?

We believe that abusers are in control of their actions and are responsible for their own behaviour and that women who experience violence are not passive victims but do what they can to reduce, prevent or stop the abuse.  We think It is time to challenge messages in the community which excuse perpetrators and blame victims for the violence they experience. Men’s violence against women is not only a problem for individual women, but a social problem that affects us all.